There is hurt, there is shame. There is pain and betrayal that I didn't know I would ever have to endure.
Some is caused by others, but some, well, some is caused by me.
Because, no matter how hard I try there are days where I disappoint myself. There are days when I don't follow through, or I don't live my values the way I know to live them.
There are days when I know I should be better.
Shame lies here. The voices start nagging, and the insecurities start growing. Shame starts building this great big wall around my heart, permitting nothing but lies and deception, and anger and grief to come in.
And I have a choice.
To exist here. Or to let go.
I have the ability to be free. From shame. But it is a choice I have to make, within my heart. I have to hear the story about myself. The story that tells me how I've grown, and loved, and learned.
I have to remind myself that I am capable of more.
Because here's the truth.
Some days I will fail. Some days I will hurt.
But some days are always followed by new days. Days of freedom. Days of new opportunity. Days of light. All it takes is choice. To be bold, and speak greatness over myself. To be brave, and battle the shame head on, giving life to the truth and not the voices. To be me, and know that I am capable of everything I set my heart to.
Some days won't look how I want them to look, but growing through those days are what gives me the opportunity to be more than I could dream.